Oh hello. Thank you for abandoning my blog, I'd do the same if I were you. I'm so lazy all the time and it's not like my life is any interesting now that I started working and all.
Life's really a bitch, isn't it? I mean you have been studying your whole life and suddenly when you graduate, they throw you into this working life that you never thought you'd live long enough to see it coming. And best thing is, they expect you to be good at it. I mean please. I was never good at studies, what in the world made them think I'd grow up to be a corporate worker? Or whatever you call people like me. I call me a slave. *shrugs
So then after they throw you into the corporate world, they expect you to earn 981726 million on your first day because everyone is going all "Ehhh earning big bucks now huhh?? Belanja la deii" or worst "wahh lawyer already ah now? Lawyer buruk is it??" ... ok first of all, I did not just invent a futuristic device. I graduated from law school for the love of god. And second, wtf is a lawyer buruk? I for one, honestly don't get that. Insulting my hard earned degree yeah ha-ha very funny. So what do you tell a fresh grad doctor? As my colleague said it the other day over lunch, "doctors are professional killers". Still not getting the whole lawyer buruk thing btw.
And not only they THINK you are earning millions on your first day at work, they also expect you to be friends with the most ridiculous people on the face of the planet. I am sorry this post is filled with insults but I'm talking about life being a bitch and I have someone who still calls me a lawyer buruk. So suck it. And they expect you to be like them. Uh. Yeah. Right.
So in the midst of all the name callings and ridiculous expectations, you spend your days trying to prove these people wrong. Like hey, I'm no lawyer buruk, you creature with no law degree. I help you dispose your property and you better be nice to me or else I'm going to... not file your CKHT in time. JYeah! .... Anyway.
As time goes by, all I can think about is ways to make myself better at what I do. I try to push myself into loving what I do. I tell myself that hell yeah I can file your CKHT in time! And I feel better about myself. But I can't help that there are days where I think I'm doing so little. I've achieved so little. What's wrong with inventing a futuristic device and earning millions on my first day? What's wrong with taking a masters in law? What's wrong in learning how to invest? I can only push myself so far.
I almost ditched the whole law shit to apply for a spot in SIA. But I couldn't. I couldn't just leave everything for 2 years. For everything I've worked for.
I didn't see myself going anywhere at that time. I had no money I had no nothing. I only had my scattered faith myself. I was lost.
I think I'm a psychopath. I think I think too much and I talk way too much for a person who can't tell the difference between a rhinoceros and a dinosaur. It's maddening at times to have this little voice in my head telling me I'm mad. No I'm not, don't worry. Or worry. Whichever.
What drives you?
Because I think I'm being driven up the wall everyday with these musing thoughts in my head.
I'll invent something futuristic one day.
Like a device that toasts your bread. I'll call it a toaster.
Seriously?
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